Your last hope
by anandcolour
Summary: A few days after their arrival at the Playground, Jemma is left alone with Koenig at the bunker when Coulson gets the team to their first mission.


As soon as they 're out, your heart sinks. You understand absolutely fine the reasons why they don't want you out on the field quite yet, there is even a small part, twenty three percent maybe, of you that's grateful they left you taking care of them from the inside this time.

"Please, don't do anything stupid." You had whispered in Skye's ear as you lingered in the embrace just one second more. She smirked when you released her and that's when you noticed the bulletproof vest under her jacket. She knew. You smiled back.

May nodded at you, her features were hard to read but her jaw was tight. You trusted her to have their backs more than you trusted Captain America right now. Coulson summoned them to the plane and just like that they were gone.

You're still concerned if they are ever coming back.

You take the facts in on your way to your new lab. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't exist anymore, everything is dangerous, Hydra is taking over, no one is to be trusted. Ward tried to kill you, Fitz is still down, you have not a clue where Fury hid him. Your team is out there somewhere trying to gather as many people as they can. They are strong. They are alone. You are alone. Your insides twists and turns and you need to be out and you need it_ now._

Koenig says that the Playground is perfectly acclimatized, he says and tries to convince you both that inside is _safe_, that you don't have to get out and put yourself in danger for _air_. He is careful with his words and you wonder how much he knows but as kind as he is, Billy Koenig is not your friend. He will never understand that staying inside a box is continual survival mode and you want to _live_.

* * *

The tests and diagnoses you run are a great distraction and actually makes you feel helpful, but the bunker is just too quiet and there's only so much of research you're allowed in this limited state. You miss Skye trying to take your attention and Fitz' bickering on your experiments.

It's been eight days since they went out, five and a half since they found two small S.H.I.E.L.D. groups hidden in California and Texas, thirty six hours since they found another Fury hidden base and fourteen hours since you've last heard from them.

Skye double encrypted all your communications weeks ago so you can't contact them. "It's safer that way." She had told you, "Don't worry, Jem. E.T. phone home. I'll keep you posted whenever we can.".

You're trying to not lose your mind over the fact that you're once again blindfolded on their whereabouts and your hands are tied. On their last report, Skye told you May got a vital information on a main Hydra base from Ward, you could hear Trip and Coulson chattering on an attack plan in the back and they were positive on this, she was confident they were gonna be back soon.

_Whenever we can_, you try her words in your head. It sounds wrong and your heart rate increases. _Please, let her be safe. Please, please let them all be safe_. You close your eyes and the image of a dying Skye plays like your brain is on mutiny against your sanity.

And it hits you. Bloody hell, you are Jemma Simmons, genius biochemist, excellent in preparation, if you can't help them fight bad guys you damn well will be prepared for when they come back.

You burst into Billy's office and drag him around the Playground to assemble everything you'll need for an improvised hospital wing, since you don't exactly know in which condition they'll be when they get to the base. Because you have faith they will. Koenig does look a bit scared of you and you take a mental note to look this fierce again in the future just for the entertainment.

When it's done you take a look at your work and allow yourself to hope it was all in vain.

* * *

It wasn't. They send a message at three in the morning two days later telling you to be prepared. The scientist in you already is, the agent in you arranges a safe landing place but in the end, the fact that this message came from Coulson and not from Skye scares you to death.

When they land, everything happens so fast you're not sure it's real. Maria Hill helps a head injured but conscious May out of the plane, Trip has an improvised bandage on his left leg and helps two other agents you don't know into separate gurneys and Coulson looks like his clothes were pulled out of a fire. Everyone is shouting orders to one another that you can't hear, because they were out but Skye is nowhere to be seen.

_No. _"No. No, where is Skye?" _No. _You turn away from the plane to look at Coulson and you're sure your eyes must look crazy, given the way he's staring back at you. You couldn't care less. "Where is she? Where-" Panic washes over you and your voice breaks. You can't breathe. _No._

His heavy hand is on yout shoulder in no time. He's saying something and you want to punch him for not protecting her. You want to scream because this isn't _fair_. You don't even know if your best friend is okay, and now Skye. Beautiful, intelligent, adorable Skye. You never had the guts to kiss her and now she's-_No._

"Jemma, I need you to calm down and listen to me." You want to tell him to shove his head in his own ass.

"Simmons." May demands your attention and you try to focus on her voice aside from Hill's requests to Koenig. "Breathe in, girl."

You do.

It's when you realize your surroundings. They are in distress, yes, trying to lessen damages, yes, but you are the only one panicking.

You try another look at Coulson and he's half smiling that irritatingly enigmatic half smile of his, eybrows up, but he's not looking at you and it's pissing you off. You feel the flush up your neck and ears-

"If we had a trained monkey, we could have avoided all that nonsense in the exit but it's just me talking and no one understands ever." You roll your eyes and it's so automatic you don't even acknowledge the words coming out from your mouth.

"Oh, Fitz, not the monkey talk again, we can't-" You stop, dead, and follow Coulson's gaze back to the airplane.

You're desperate for it to be real now. Your whole body is shaking when you see both your best friend and _her_, standing beside each other like it's just so normal. Like your heart didn't stop a few minutes ago when you thought she was dead.

He gives you a bright smile but you're so hurt. _How can they be so okay with this_, and you give up, finally letting your tears fall down. He comes by your side but it's Skye who takes you in her arms. _Always the first_.

You know she's bruised when you hide your face on the crook of her neck to hold her a little tighter and she winces, masking a whimper. You let her go immediately and Coulson leads her to the infirmary.

"Fury took care of me when I woke up. Coulson found me a few days back, before we took over one of the Hydra bases." You're still overpowered by the wave of emotions you're feeling so you just let him speak. "We were outnumbered, of course, but we made it with minimal losses as you could see.".

Fitz is so proud. You lean your head into his shoulder and let yourself weep once more. You're so happy they're alive.

None of you breaks the silence for a long time. It's Hill that comes and escorts Fitz to also get a check up with Dr. Geralds, it comes to your attention, one of the agents you didn't recognize before.

You sigh and head to the shower, certain that in this condition you are no use to help at all. No. You take your time and let the warm water do it's magic on your tensed back and shoulders.

She's there when you get to your room. Her eyes are closed and her head is resting on your headboard, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

"You know why I love calling you Jem so much?"

You're in blissful awe. She rolls her head and slid her eyes open to look directly into yours and you can't divert. You don't even blush, you just sit across from her on your bed and shake your head slightly so she continue speaking.

"Because, and I will sound cheesy, I hope you know that this is totes on purpose," You can't help a laugh, "you brightened up every aspect of my life. Like a precious, million colors, diamond refractions in the light. A gem." And it's enough.

You lean forward trying not to hit anywhere that could hurt her and cup both her cheeks with your hands, your foreheads touching and _it's intoxicating_. She's still smiling but her eyes are serious and there's a small part of your brain that understands that she must be mirroring your look, but you close your eyes when she closes the distance between you and this is not chemistry at all; This is what magic tastes like and you will fight everyone who says it's not. You will also burn whoever stops you from kissing this woman ever again.

It's the first night in months that you sleep without any effort. You wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that she's curled by your side.

* * *

The next morning the team gathered in a briefing to give you your answers. How they couldn't tell you everything over the communications in fear Skye's encryptions failed, how they kept every info at minimum for your own protection and theirs, how Koenig actually helped them keeping an eye on you – and you didn't miss Skye's grateful smile at him -, how they found Fitz and what happened at the Hydra base.

How Ward was extremely important for them to succeed and what happened to the other agents they found, now safely guarded in Fury's hidden base in Texas.

You only nod at what they tell you, filling you in. This war is far from over but this battle is won, this mission is done and everyone deserves a break.

When Coulson dismisses everyone, you ask for a moment alone with Fitz in the kitchen. You both need a cup of tea and you own him a chat but he looks at you mid sip and smile sheepishly, shrugging.

"She told me she loved you and I knew you felt something for her."

You want to tell him you're sorry, but you're not. You do have feelings for Skye and you'll never feel sorry for that, so you concentrate on drinking your tea.

"I am still your best friend. And she can't have my spot in the lab. In fact, we should establish some ground rules over the lab in general."

You giggle like a teenager. He's still the Fitz to your Simmons.

* * *

Tonight you're in her bed and you'll never get over what her scent does to you. What everything Skye does to you, for that matter.

She's sleeping, her head resting on your chest and your fingers are brushing her silky hair, her breathing steady and constant. She's so alive. You scrunch your nose while a smile spread on your lips. This _is_ cheesy.

You love her so much.


End file.
